If there were a procrastination competition, I'm certain I would secure first place.
With so many tasks on my plate, particularly in the daunting task of (re)building Memory Vale from scratch, I consistently find myself putting them off and attempting to rationalize my actions.
While I don't deny that procrastination hampers productivity, I find myself growing increasingly averse to the word "productivity."
It seems to act as a ruthless yardstick by which one's inadequacy or laziness is measured.
I often ponder why I persist in procrastinating despite being fully aware of its detrimental effects?
Could it be that I am now seeking a scapegoat to justify my own incompetence?
Maybe.
During that moment of contemplation, I chanced upon a TED-Ed channel discussing the topic of procrastination.
It really appeared at the right time.
Why can’t human resist procrastination despite knowing the consequences?
The short video was truly worth the time, as it provided valuable information in every second.
It shed light on the nature of procrastination, providing valuable insight into its triggers.
This information is crucial for answering the question at hand.
According to the video, people tend to procrastinate tasks that elicit negative emotions such as dread, incompetence, and insecurity.
This happens because our bodies instinctively try to protect us by avoiding tasks that we perceive as “threatening”.
In other words, procrastination is driven by our negative feelings, making certain individuals more prone to it than others.
The video also highlighted that individuals who struggle to regulate their emotions and those who have low self-esteem are more likely to procrastinate, regardless of their proficiency in time management.
This suggests that the underlying factors contributing to procrastination extend beyond mere time management skills.
Procrastinate is not equal to laziness
Before attempting to address procrastination further, it is crucial to first dispel the common misconception that all procrastinators are lazy.
As the video explained, laziness is characterized by a lack of energy and overall apathy in both the body and brain.
When feeling lazy, individuals are more inclined to engage in idle behavior rather than diverting their attention towards trivial tasks.
In contrast, many people procrastinate precisely because they care deeply.
These individuals may be classified as overthinkers or have an excessively active brain.
Overthinking leads to a fear of failure, which then manifests as procrastination - a self-defense mechanism aimed at coping with stressful tasks or the “threat”.
And so, the solution?
As highlighted in the video, the traditional method of cultivating discipline and practicing strict time management is not an effective solution to the problem of procrastination.
In fact, it can make the situation worse.
Being excessively critical of oneself only adds more negative emotions to a task, making the perceived threat even stronger.
Given that procrastination is closely linked to these negative emotions, a more sensible approach is to acknowledge and soothe them.
It is therefore essential to be kinder to oneself by practicing self-compassion and self-forgiveness, while also making plans for improvement in future endeavors.
A never-ending battle
Putting self-compassion into practice to overcome procrastination is easier said than done, especially in my case.
Developing self-compassion requires being on good terms with oneself, which is currently a challenge for me.
While I wouldn't say I have a bad relationship with myself, I can't confidently claim to be on good terms either.
I'm still struggling with deep-rooted low self-esteem, which makes it difficult for me to acknowledge my own accomplishments.
This ongoing struggle with self-esteem fuels my perfectionism and contributes to my tendency to procrastinate.
Perhaps the constant exposure to high-quality work from others has played a role in my situation, as it consistently triggers feelings of insecurity and inadequacy within me.
I believe my perfectionism acts as a coping mechanism to alleviate these negative feelings, providing me with a sense of competence comparable to others.
However, such mechanism has become a double-edged sword, as it has made me spend unnecessary additional time confronting my fears of failure before moving forward.
It is both time-consuming and emotionally draining, often leading to burnout.
I find myself exerting my willpower solely to initiate a task, leaving little energy for the actual work.
Well, I don't know how long this situation will persist.
But I recognize the importance of reassuring myself that it's totally fine to progress at my own pace and refrain from comparing myself to others.
By doing so, I hope to reduce the frequency of my procrastination.
Yes, being kind to myself may serve as a good starting point for personal transformation.